Five factors which influence confidence
Self-confidence is a quality with which each of us is born.
It is a feeling that you are worth something, that you deserve proper treatment, love and respect, that you can achieve certain goals you set for yourselves.
Low self-confidence is a negative feeling towards yourself -denying everything I mentioned above.
The most important thing about low self-confidence is that it is usually not adequate to reality.
Loss of confidence is caused by various factors such as your genes, the family in which you grew up, culture, country, school and environment. It all affects how you see yourself and how others perceive you. Although many external factors have influenced you, it’s up to you what to do next.
You can do a lot because self-confidence is something you can learn!
What affects the level of confidence?
According to research, about 25-50% of our confidence depends on genes. How you perceive yourself is in some way innate.
By this I mean that genetically your brain produces chemicals that influence our self- confidence. I write here about serotonin and oxytocin -they are responsible for the feeling of happiness and your level of self- confidence by that.
If you have supportive parents who believe in you and strengthen your faith in yourself, you’re probably self-confident. However, if your parents compare you to others, criticize your behavior and appearance, and don’t spend time with you, your self-confidence may suffer.
However, you have to remember that your parents did their best to be the best parents. Don’t judge or blame them for your life- it doesn’t help. Try to understand and if it is necessary – forgive them.
Also your classmates or colleagues can sometimes be cruel. You may have been bullied, ridiculed, discriminated or abused differently. Such experiences shape your perception and may reduce your self-confidence.
Traumatic memories greatly affect your confidence. If you have experienced violence or abuse of any kind, be it physical or mental, those memories have a huge impact on your perception of yourself.
If that happened consider work on these experiences with an experienced professional who is working with a specific type of trauma.
The media create an image of perfection which makes you feel deficient. They manipulate you into believing that you are too fat, too old or inadequate in a different way. Social media present happy people who lead successful and fulfilled lives. If you compare yourself to those unrealistic images you may feel negative about yourself.
Besides the abovementioned factors, there are many others that contribute to self-confidence:
– external appearance
– economic and social status;
– cultural background;
– mental problems, e.g. depression;
– physical illness or disability;
– unsuccessful relationships;
– sexual orientation
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.
Remember that self-confidence is a state of mind and you decide what it is.
Everyone experience sometimes worse days or a state of lower self- confidence and this is ok. There is nothing wrong with that. But if you experience a lack of self-confidence for a long time, you may notice negative effects on your health and other areas of your life such as work, your relationship and social life.
Don’t let low self -confidence take control over your life.
If you have any questions about this topic or you would like to work on your confidence, write or call to arrange a free consultation.